Approaching graduation date, I feel more and more vague about my future. As an international student, opportunities in the U.S are relatively limited for me, compared to the domestic students. There are jobs matching my interests and skills, but they would not hire international students due to visa problems.
What am I supposed to do?
Everyone is saying “you must have felt excited for graduation, right?”
No, I don’t.
I start to miss school, start to miss all the classmates and professors, start to miss various school events and fun activities. I even feel “panicky” — if I am not going to graduate school soon, and if I don’t have a job, I would be totally lost. What’s more, as an international student, I am living by myself without parents and close friends back home.
“Is this the life I wanted?” I keep asking myself.
Last night, I had a conversation with a close friend who has never been abroad nor moving out of her hometown. She said she is jealous of me because I can go abroad and live by myself.
I suddenly felt relieved.
There indeed are difficulties, confusions, frustrations, and much more uneasiness. However, the life here is here for a reason. I start to realize that my life has been so much more interesting since I came to the U.S. At least, I have grown exponentially — from the beginning stage of adjusting to new environment to getting used to everything. This is the real life!
I told my friend: “what you just said reminded me of Milan Kundera’s Life Is Elsewhere. I read this book when I was young and I couldn’t understand that much. But now, I think this quote is perfect for describing my life.”
Life is elsewhere.
If I didn’t come here, didn’t go through all the things, then I wouldn’t have lived such a colorful life. I have met new people and made good friends, like this friend I chatted with; I get to speak English quite fluently and frequently; I have been to different places and I have plenty of life experiences. What’s more important, I probably wouldn’t have had these experiences if I stayed with my parents and in my country.
Isn’t this the purpose of coming here?
I get to see this world!
Being an international student shouldn’t be a problem, after all I was brave to step out of my comfort zone.
I keep thinking about the journey I have, I feel happy.
Life is elsewhere.
(On the way to the mountain)
(Sudden snow in late April)
Lia (Shuyan) Li - 4th year UG student; major: Communication Studies and minor: Theater & Marketing
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